Sports news

Only to be mown down again by the turkish guns

Injuries or no injuries, If I was Abe Pollin I would trust Mitchell Butler to perform my weekly colonoscopy before I would trust him to run the offense.

If I was ABe Pollin, I would get Alcor to freeze me like Ted Williams and his Son, to be thawed when the Wiz make the playoffs.

Phil Chenier could keep the forzen Abe in his lving room, by the credenza. When he can't sleep, Phil will stand in front of the glowing blue cryo-jar that holds the old frozen jewish man, and eat ginger snaps innthe dark in his too-small terry cloth robe, and drink hot cocoa. He wouldnt have any profound thoughts when he does this; he would just enjoy his snaps and clear his head. In the morning his wife would feel the cookie crumbs under her bare feet and be reminded perhaps of her own mortality and feel a sudden urge to feel a mans touch and the warm sting of brandy in her throat.

At halftime, Fred Carter called the Cleveland Cavaliers "The Seabiscuit of the NBA"!!!!!

Which I guess makes LeBron James the one-eyed, unhyped, left for dead, drunk and gammy-legged jockey of the NBA??

Sharp sports-on-sports metaphor Fred!!!

And, I apologize to the organization for my absence.

I have been on a trip of a "personal" nature.

2 weeks ago I packed 4 pair of briefs, 8 quarts Pruno, nothing else.

Now I return to you with nothing beyond the spicy and unforgiving odor of fermenting oranges.

And then last night I thought maybe my trip had been in vain---that the voices were still there --- but it turned out they were there!

it was the Phoenix Suns broadcasters on my NBA KwamePass saying about Kwame after an aggressive rebound:

"He's like a dirtworker inside"!!!

or maybe he said dock-worker. does someone have some gum?